Butterfly Kisses & Bedtime Prayers

Loss of a Hero

2006-09-04T18:12:00.000-10:00

Today we were profoundly saddened by the loss of a true hero. Steve Irwin. The girls loved him and gained their love and knowledge of animals from him. He was a man who you could be proud that your children admired. He had a passion for what he believed in and wantd to educate the world. We felt like we knew him. He meant more to our family than he would ever get to know.

When Carylanne was 4 she began to love Steve and animals. Her dream was to meet him someday. Well when she was diagnosed she told the nurse her dream. Her nurse came in the next day with actual pictures from the Australia Zoo that her sister had taken on a trip there. The sister gladly gave some to Carylanne. After Carylanne went home we went through a horribly rough time. She was sad and angry. She would run and hide from us. She would call me evil because I gave her shots and hurt her fingers and our hearts broke for her. She grew to learn that I gave her shots out of love but in those months my heart was broken along with hers. Well a woman who had an organization to help children with chronic illnesses saw Carylanne's page on Children with Diabetes. The page stated her love for Steve. Nikki wrote to him on Carylanne's behalf. Soon an autograph picture and zoo magazine were sent to her. She cherished that picture and stilll hung onto her dream of meeting him. He gave her smiles and happiness and helped her heart heal. He brought us all together. We all shared in watching his shows and enjoying his message to the world.

Well over these years we have still talked about going there someday. But with circumstances the way they turned out, of course we couldn't begin to save for that yet. BUt I always thought we had plenty of time. We would take her in a few more years. Our time ran out today and my heart breaks for her again. Her dream is gone. She says she understands why we never got to go but in her eyes I see the little girl she was 4 years ago. I always wanted to tell him that story and let him know how much he has meant to her.

I will miss all he taught the girls. I feel so deeply saddened at the thought of his children and wife. He was a gift to all animals from God. And a gift to Carylanne to give her hope and a dream and a plan for her future. Because she wanted to work with animals. Well she feels that urge more now today because she wants to remember her hero always.

Thank you Steve. Rest in Peace......

ZippaDee Doo Da

2006-06-16T15:49:00.000-10:00

Wow I realized today that it's been nearly a month since my last post. Boy I thought I'd been busy but I guess more than I thought.

Well Dave had surgery on the 25th. It all went well. He is now in a cast until the 26th. The doctor had to remove some bones and take a piece of tendon from his upper arm and use is as a support for his thumb. YUCK. The way it was described in the or notes is gross. He took the tendona dn pushed it through holes drilled in the bone. Then tied it in a loop etc. Well hope this works so he can use his hand!

I started working on the 30th. So far its been just training.They have so many cast members starting that its hard to get all the scheduled training in. Fine with me as I have my cast ID (for discounts) and haven't had to work much. Tomorrow i am being paid to go on an "urban Adventure". This is where they take you on a tour of the area you are working. ie Magic Kingdom etc. For me it will be Downtown Disney. Too bad I can't shop as I go. Not that my family's wardrobe isn't already entirely Disney.

Carylanne's been doing really well. Good numbers most days. We were informed however that her Cholesterol is higher than it should be for a 9 yr old It was in the 180's. We already skip fries with meals, she usually orders a salad. I guess we have to be more vigiliant. Plus we seem to have another problem cropping up. I have to do a little research on this one but for a month or so shei s having bowel problems. She never feels if she has to go. She doesn't have accidents or anything but she just doesn't feel when she has to go. So she goes in to pee and ends up finding out she has to do more than pee. Kinda annoying at times. Then we have the fun of puberty starting. All the signs are appearing now. I am not ready for this!!

Nothing on the VA front yet. We are still waiting for his rating. I feel like we will be waiting forever! He went for an MRI on his back tonight. Its getting worse. He has 3 herniated disks plus arthritis and nerve damage. Just never gets better.

If anyone has any good ideas for healthy snacks (other than the obvious fruits and veggies) smoothie recipes, etc I would love some new ideas. I am trying to try new things in order to help her cholesterol and weight. I already give her lots of veggies. Salads etc. I am writing down everything we give ehr for the dietician in Sept. We are told "let her be a kid and don't put her on a diet. But then we are told, she is gaining weight too quickly and she has a cholesterol problem. Hello what do I do. I am trying to get her exercise without hurting her joints, and giving her salads and veggies. ARRGGHH!!!!

Well tiem for bed. I have had chest pains all day. Not sure if its stress or arthritis. I have arthritis in my breast bone. But have had a lot of stress this week too.
Oh well a good night's sleep may help.

Great news for once..........

2006-05-19T10:39:00.000-10:00

We went to the new Endo today. What a nice guy! We are now part of the Nemours Children's Endo Clinic. They were great. First they checked her HBA1c right there. Too cool. We always had to go for a blood test. She was 7.6. A bit higher than in March when it was 7.2 but then again she was sick a couple weeks ago. Anyway, the doctor sees us and he is soooooo nice. Really great bedside manner with Carylanne. He is happy with her overall numbers and care. Then he explains how the clinic works. 24/7 coverage whenever we need to reach someone. There are 3 doctors there. Then there are CDE's and a dietician all on staff. The whole thing about keeping her out of the ER and calling them first for anything. Great!!! Then he tells us IF she ever needs the ER which one they trust etc. Big relief to know what I would need to do. So the CDE comes in and talks with us. Offers some suggestions and gives us some new sets to try with her. It ws suggested that we see the dietician as we never have been able to and she is gaining weight a little too easily. The dietician is a Type 1 himself who wears the same pump as Carylanne. So great! We see him on our next visit. Carylanne was very happy with her new doctor. Me too. They didn't even scold me for not keeping good records. We download our meter but I know I should be better at writing things down too. But they are happy with 7.6 so they aren't too pushy. So this was just a great relief.

Then I must say that all your good thoughts and prayers have paid off this week so much.

First on Monday we get to see a hand specialist and finally Dave will get his surgery. Surgery is not usually a great thing but he has been in so much pain and cannot work with his hand like it is. Now we will know for sure what use he will end up with, ending our speculation at what job he will be capable of. Plus it should end this terrible pain. At least that is the doctor's goal. The insurance actually appoved the surgery within 2 days and it is confirmed. WOW they never work that quick.

Then Tues as you all know I got my dream job back. Yeah!

Wed was not too good. Dave had an appointment at the VA. Always stressful. Plus he was in more pain this week due to being prodded on Monday.

So Thurs we went to Disney. Our answer and escape these days. We had a great time and got to see things we always miss. Like Cinderellabration. Dave really would like to get a full-time job at Disney when he is better. They do not pay as much as some companies BUT the benefits are worth a lot. Plus we found out they have great healthcare. I think that is why their payscales "seems" low. It really isn't when you add in great benefits.

So we come to Friday and get to meet this great doctor. The week is going really well. Finally things are looking up.

Then they get a little better. You see we were never paid properly from the army for our mileage home. We sent in the paperwork twice and they sent it back to us asking for more info. We were getting so frustrated as we were expecting about 1000.00. Well we get home this afternoon to an email stating that we are being paid 2007.00 and should have it deposited by tomorrow! WOW!!!!! They owed us for mileage but also for travel expenses that we figured we never see and had settled that at least getting the mileage would be great. Oh Boy what a relief. That helps us continue on living on our savings and my part-time pay. He will lose unemployment for 4 weeks during his recovery. (we would have gotten paid by the VA for that time BUT we cannot keep waiting for them to schedule him to see a hand specialist. It has been since March and still the doctor hasn't looked at the referral. Anyway he can't keep waiting. The damage is getting worse the more time goes on. We will try to get paid disability from them once his claim is processed. BUT I won't hold my breath.)

So things are looking up for us a great deal. Tomorrow we will be at MGM for Star Wars weekends. The girls want to meet Jedi Mickey plus the actor who plays Chewbacca among others. Real cool.

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and encouragement. I will have a glass of wine tonight and savor the new feeling of things going right for once!

A whole new world-Disney World

2006-05-17T07:59:00.000-10:00

I got my dream job back yesterday!!! Starting on May 30th I am officially back at Disney. I was so excited! 6 years ago when we tried to move to Florida I got hired for the Magic Kingdom. A job I had wanted since I was a teenager. I had to give it up however when Dave went active. I had just begun training. I was told then that I could always come back. I was nervous all this time though that maybe I couldn't. Well I decided that even though its a bit more of a drive than I wanted to make it was the only place I really wanted to work. So I went in yesterday and got my job back. Only this time I am going over to the World of Disney in downtown Disney. It is a bit closer to get to than Magic Kingdom. For now anyway. I hate the idea of leaving the girls and letting someone else (even her father) take care of the diabetes but I know it has to be done. I know they can handle it all its just hard to leave. My first attempt at a job was such a disaster and I was trying then to be so close to home. This time I am about 45 mins away. But when I am at Disney I am enjoying what I do and where I am. We will move closer next year so this is temporary being so far away.

Until May 30th we have so much to do to prepare. Plus Dave is having surgery next Thurs. I wouldn't go to work until after that. They are going to try and salvage what the army doctor screwed up. Let's hope they can!

Friday we go to the new endo. We are going to a program at Neumours. I am excited to get her into a whole clinic thing again. Dave wil be with us so he will be right up on her care. I will only be working part-time but still he needs to be back in the swing of things again.

So many changes coming up. I am excited and a bit scared as well. But this whole year has been full of that. The girls are excited about me working at Disney. The perks are great and they feel better knowing I am there. Even if it is a bit further from home.

An Extreme Act of Kindness

2006-05-07T10:51:00.000-10:00

This is a story that if it didn't happen to me I may not beleive it. Last week while shopping at Joann Fabrics we began to chat with a few people over at the embroidery machines. We had set out for a ride to explore new areas and have been trying to find things for our new apartment. That days venture brought us to JoAnn's to search for fabric for kitchen curtains. Mickey Mouse (found the perfect material). As I was getting it cut Dave was looking at the machines and chatting to an older couple. We have wanted to get one for a long time. Mainly because we have talked about starting our own business and have gotten set up on EBay when we were still in Hawaii. Anyway this woman began chatting with me and wanted to show me what she had made. It was a beautiful clock and the background was all embroidered. As we were looking at the machines and the girls were chatting with this nice woman Dave commented that he would love to get me one soon. But not one quite as expensive as everyone was admiring. A Brother most likely.

So this nice woman turns to me and says, "I have a deal for you".

Ok.....

So she takes me a bit aside and tells me that if we come pick it up, she has a new Brother that is ours. I'm thinking this is a joke or a set up. I am even leary of sweet old ladies. She states she got it and never uses it because she has a bigger one. She had been waiting for someone to give it to that she felt wuold enjoy it and use it.

WOW!!! So she gives us directions to her house. Then says she is leaving now for home and we can just follow her and get it then.

So we followed her home. Visited a little. She was a wonderfully generous woman. We offered her $$ twice and she would not take it. She gave us a new Brother embroidery machine with several pattern cartridges. Its a DISNEY machine. Too cool!!! She also gave me a craft case adn the girls a smoothy machine. She had been clearing our her home. She lives alone and had no family down here. What she gave us was worth over 1,000 $$$.

Well I was speechless. I have never run across such a nice woman. We told her that if she needed anything to please call and let us repay her kindness.

So now I can create things with my new machine. Make nice shirts and embroider everything the girls have!!! We haven't gotten to make too much this week but will have that as a new hobby and/or business in the near future.

I am still amazed at the whole thing. There is a true silver lining somedays!!!

Thanks

2006-05-02T17:35:00.000-10:00

Thanks for everyone's words of encouragement. (and boycott of Wal-Mart). I am trying each day to see the bright side but somedays its really tough. From everything the Army did to us it feels like the biggest slap in the face to serve your country, for what? We served right along side Dave. We moved around. We waited long hours for him while he was away, we lived in substandard housing. All in the name of serving our country. Now Dave is broken and will never be the same. We get doors closed with every turn. A different answer every time we talk to the VA. He has been waiting for over 5 weeks for an appointment just to see the hand specialist. Still they have not even looked at the referal never mind get him an appointment. HIs hand gets worse. We wait. The answers we get are "Well you'll get back-paid" or "Don't push too hard or your claim will get pushed to the bottom of the pile". This is how our veterans are treated. We are not alone However Dave was forced out while still broken. They knew the surgery had failed and still put him out. He was told to get the next surgery at the VA and not there. More ordered than told. He was enlisted and we were not able to fight the system anymore. Ellen, you made a great suggestion. I would love our story be told. Then I start to think that they won't want to tell it. That many people out there are going through tough times and what makes ours worth telling. I can say that we were treated horribly by the Army. No regard for having a child with so many medical problems. (In fact we were given just 6 months medical insurance. After that we are on our own.) Dave still can't work and I can't go to work full-time and leave them all day. He applied for social security disability benefits because his injuries will take over 12 months to fix. But of course that takes 4 months or more to maybe get. But I am not counting on it. Its a government agency after all. We are surviving on 247.00 a week from unemployment and living off his severance pay. I am greatful for that but the severance pay is a real shaft to veterans. He got this pay from the army due to being put out. However once his claim from the VA is approved he has to pay back the severance because the government considers it "double-dipping" What a bogus concept. Dave would have gone for his 20 years and gotten pension and full benefits etc. Because they screwed up he was put out early. Therefore the severance should be just that/ But once he gets a VA claim they say the money was actually for his injuries so it has to be paid back. Nice huh!!! I would just get a job to support us all but I haven't worked in many years. I am paralyzed with fear to leave them too much as it is. We are in a new home that we are not adjusting well to. I am not liking it here at all but we cannot afford to move. I feel horrible for the girls because we desperately want to find a good home for them and settle down for good. The money from the severance that I hoped could be soaked away for a home someday will be eaten up just to live on. Our Disney tickets were the bright spot for the girls in all of this. We can escape the world and go there for a day.

Well if anyone has any suggestions of contacting a news show or similiar I am all ears. Ellen suggested us telling our story but I don't know where I would tell it or if anyone would care. Is it so wrong to just want to settle down as a family and have our lives back again?

Thank you all for listening (reading) my self-pity bitch fest. Maybe its PMS talking. I will just try to gather up our family for another day of "looking on the bright side" Lately that has been that Dave made it out of the army alive and is not in Iraq right now. That is a lot to be happy about!

This awful beautiful life!!

2006-04-20T17:25:00.000-10:00

So much going on these days my head is about to overload. Some is just so fu^^&% bad but some is a bit of humor in this otherwise sucky life we are experiencing. First, The sucky part to get it out of my system. I spoke with a representative at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission today. My complaint has fallen on deaf ears. I spoke to the federal line last week and was told that I do fall under the same guidelines for discriminatin if it is a family member or if I was the one disabled. Well this woman tells me NO and that Wal-Mart didn't have to make any specials accomodations for me, I told her I spoke to someone at the federal office. Ma'me we are the federal office. No I'm prety sure your in Tampa lady. Maybe in her mind she is in DC. Then she tells me I made it look bad on myself for walking out. I beg to differ. I will not work for a company with so little compassion for their employees that carrying my own @@#$ cell phone for an emergency is such a problem. End of story. My family and their well-being comes first. So then I have to go in for my paycheck. I go to the back and get my smock out of my locker to turn in along with a letter telling personnel how i was treated. Hey it may alert someone to the rude behavior of the manager. Although I doubt they will care. So I get to the office and poke my head into the window for my check. Sitting there is the horrible $%$%$^ cashier supervisor. She gives me a look of "if you show up for work tonight your either getting written up or fired". So I ask for my check, chicken out of handing over the smock or the letter and high-tail it out of there. I put the smock back into my locker. Think I will mail the letter and the words I quit! This woman got me so furious that I don't want to deal with her again. But I still had the presence of mind to go around the store and get everything we have been needign like comfortors for the girls, material to make all our curtains etc. I go to the checkout cash my check and ask for my employee discount. Hey I got another 15.00 out of them before leaving!!!!

So that is the end of my first job in many years. What a disaster! I will look again when my nerves are more prepared. I found out today that the law does not protect our children. How can we as their caregivers be unreachable in an emergency, or have their sicknesses held against us. We have children who require special care but we also have to work. Now I am just so nervous about going out there to work. The unbeleiveable attitude towards people with diabetes is horrible. I always feel like I am being judged that we somehow caused this. With all the hype about children getting type 2 from poor diets and exercise, ignorant people think this is the same. So there is no compassion at all.

Then speaking of no compassion Dave went to the VA today. You have to know that they pushed him out still broken. His hand surgery failed which they knew amidst the process and they told him that he would have to get it fixed by the VA because they would not stop the MEB. So he has a broken hand that needs surgery. Then his back is so bad he is on morphine for the back pain and the hand pain. He gets referred to the hand specialist over 3 weeks ago. They have the referral but haven't even looked at it yet to call him for an appointment. Then he asks about what more they can do for his back. NOTHING. They never sent him to a neurologist or exhausted all treatments but as far as they are concerned they won't do anymore. Unfuckingbelieveable. I am so stressed out I can't describle it in words. I just want to run away somewhere. But we can't afford to. I am thankful that I have lots of supplies for Carylanne on hand and that we have medical until Sept. I just want to be able to settle into civilian life and find jobs we can manage and take care of our girls. This just totally sucks!!! NOw onto a lighter better note......

We got carylanne's latest HBA1c last week. Mind you this is from Dec to March and includes all of our trip and leaving our home etc.
7.2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could have screamed it from the highest mountain! We thought for sure it would suck because of all the stress and change for us all. But it was great. I have found a good way to keep her numbers down these days. walking around Disney. She gets alot of exercise and it is keeping her numbers in great range.

Next I have a bit of humor I just have to relate after all my ranting and raving.... I warn you to not read this with anything in your mouth as you may choke or have milk/wine/soda shoot out your nose!!! Ok here it goes...

Last night well after the girls are in bed, Dave and I were in bed. Not exactly sleeping. So right in the middle or rather nearing the end we suddenly hear

"I can't sleep"

Not from the door oh my $%^$$% word Carylanne is standing right next to us. Dad's butt in the air moaning groaning etc etc (not to be too explicit but you have to really picture the scene to understand my sheer mortification right now). She practically tapped him on the shoulder. He jumps off into the bed and we grab for the sheets.

"Go into your room I will be right there"

She sleepily hobbles back to her room. Now I don't even want to face her. What is she going to ask/say. The girls know about sex. In fact due to their precociousness they know a lot. First they asked too much last year when we learned anatomy. Then my neighbor thought having 5 kids in 4 years would be great. That brought up too many questions from the girls.
"MOmmy if Mr Ben can't afford to have more kids why do they have sex to make one?"
(ok I had todl them that people have sex when they are married to have a child. They thought after that there is no more reason to have sex. NOw I am backed into a corner. truth or make up a stork story quick. I go for truth.

"Married couples have sex because it is a special gift from God. Sometimes that gift does produce a baby and that is one of the resons why God made this a special time etc) "

So she comes out with

"well you and dad aren't having any more kids"

"Well yes honey but..." Then the light pops on

"oh gross you and daddy still have sex!!!"

"It's not gross and most married couples have sex at least some of the time. But its a private matter that we don't discuss or ask about."
Another light pops on

"Grandma and Grandpa too!!"

Mortifiction speads over her and her sister's faces. That night when dave comes home from work Christianne, my forever ballbuster goes up to him and says,

"I know your little secret" then she runs down the hall giggling. Dave wanted to eat by himself because he felt he was being stared at all night.

So now we are faced with totally being caught. I am dying at haviong to answer questions etc. First i ask Dave the obvious question 'Why didn't you lock the door????" I go into her room. Tell her it is rude to barge into our room. I tell her to hug Ruby and go to sleep. She is out in 3 minutes. Was she sleep walking??? Will she remember what she saw??? Jump to this morning. No mention of anything. No remarks from little sister which would tell me she does remember and just told Christi. Christianne would not have resisted saying something. Tonight she can't sleep again. Only this time i am typing. This time I tell her not again like barging in last night.
"mom I'm sorry I must have been confused. All I remember is standing next to you adn having you tell me to go back to bed"

Oh my God she is so traumatized she's going to end up on Dr. Phil someday!!!!! I am buying a lock for the door this weekend and a cow bell for theirs!!!
What a week. I need a good drink. Only don't tell my girls I could go for a "sex on the beach"!!!!

A New Job Come and Gone

2006-04-17T17:08:00.000-10:00

Well my new job lasted all of three days!! YUP a whole 3. I just have to relate to all of you what it was like. First please keep in mind that I have not worked in over 6 years. I know that this sounds great to anyone who has had to work and I am greatful that I haven't had to. Not that we have lived on much money all these years. It just wouldn't have been practical with Carylanne and with our military life. This is the first job since diabetes and since Dave's injuries as well.

So I go in for orientation. Very boring! All the paperwork and rah rah about joining a new company. Hey I just work part-time for economical purposes. really didn't care much about the company. I was able to go home for lunch. Took all I had to leave again and go back. But I did. I tried to speak with the personnel trainer about an ADA form. You see I did not want them to hold an absense due to medical reasons for Carylanne or Dave against me. Plus I needed to request a special accomodation that I be allowed to carry my cell phone on vibrate in case of emergencies. They did not think it would be a problem but I needed to fill out a form etc. Well I start that monday and there is no one there to get the form from. In fact no one from my department came to greet me and they stuck me in front of a computer that whole night doing online computer modules. For 6 hours. I almost fell asleep. Talk about very uninviting. No direction. Just hey go do this computer stuff until someone comes and gets you .Then no one did. Anyway I went home that night and cried for 2 hours. I hated leaving my family to go to such a messed up place. So the following morning I decide I will go talk to my new boss. Someone whom I have yet to meet. You see I interviewed with a different manager and mine never came into orientation and didn't see her the first night. I wanted to make a change to my schedule as I came to realize I could not work that many nights and I needed to get this ADA stuff figured out.

SO I try to go in early in the day to talk. If they don't go for the scedule change I was prepared to say sorry I will look elsewhere I understand you need someone more etc. Well they refuse to talk to me unless I am on the clock. So I go in that night. After waiting through a meeting I finally get to speak to the new boss. Well this is where it gets really interesting> First we iron out the change in the schedule. She doesn't seem happy but is willing to make the change. I made some concessions on the nights and we figure it all out. Next I ask about the phone. I get an "ABSOLUTELY NOT". sHE PROCEEDS TO TELL ME THAT "EVEN SHE DOESN'T HAVE A PHONE ON HER AND SEES NO REASON I SHOULD HAVE MINE" Also she tells me that if I had mine others would want theirs and would say they have a sick child etc etc. So I get ready to stand up and tell her, well I can't work here them because I can't be unreachable. Well she stills says no but tries to keep the conversation going More of she doesn't even carry her phone. So I tell her that my husband served in the army and always had his phone, even out in the field in case we needed him. She decides to call in her boss. She tells me she is sure he will say no but she will ask. I call that CYA because she knows I am walking. So he coems in and she tells him the scoop. He tells me that if I can PROVE TO HIM why i need it he'll approve it. THEN HE ADDS "as long as you know its not for chatting on" I was furious. What a sexist remark. I am sure if I was a man he wouldn't have said that. So I say "Curt I am 35 years old with 2 disabled family members as per the ADA. I need this for emergencies and am old enough to know the difference. Well we finish the meeting and I am pretty upset that I am being harrassed over something so simple. I need to be reachable end of story. I then go to ask my boss something and she is really curt and short with me. Well she didn't get her way and made it my problem if others find out I am being given and exception to the rules. But hey not yet, only if I can prove to them I need it. Then she is snappy with me a second time. So I figure this is not going to work. I made an excuse a while later and walked out. I haven't returned. I need to officially quit this week but don't want to deal with them

Now comes the good part. I called the ADA and asked if they are allowed to be hostile and harrassing when a request for accommodations is made. The answer was NO. Then I ran the "chatting"remark by them too. It was sexist and I have a case for complaint. I filed a formal complaint with the Equal Opportunity Commission.

I tell you all this because I want you to know that if you need to get a part-time job DO NOT GO TO Wal-MART. This experience has been horrible and now I am afraid to go back out looking for a job. I din't expect true compassion, hey its a business but harrasing remarks and such a hard time over carrying a phone on vibrate was such a joke. They obviously only care about the bottom line or something. They preach REPECT for the individual but I certainly didn't get that.

So now i am back on the job hunting trail. Very reluctantly but we can't live forever on our savings and Dave is getting worse not better. It will take a few more months until we find out about his pension. Well thanks for listening. Boy what a week!!!!!!

New Doctors

2006-04-01T05:58:00.000-10:00

Well yesterday we took the girls to their new pediatrician. Ever find a good doctor but the staff s##$!!! Well first we get there and fill out gobbs of paperwork. Usual procedure. Then have to witness cat figths amongst the staff. Boy an incredible group of proffessionals this was. Then one of the Assisistants asks me about Christianne's shots. She proceeds to tell me she is not up to date and will be getting some shots today. To which I respond. "No she isn't". So this woman flips the chart on the countr in front of me and says"well then she isn't getting a physical then" she turns to walk away as I tell her "We'll just see what the doctor says". As I say this the other woman tells her. It's no problem because they're Tri-care anyway. Then tells me "we don't immunize tri-care patients because Tri-Care doesn't pay us enough" Yep serve your country for this! I will be putting in a complaint to Tri-Care. You see Tri-Care makes a contract with the doctor or hospital etc. they agree to be paid a certain amount. thats it. They can't ask for money from us as we have no co-pay. So to get around it they are refusing the service. So I will be letting Tri-care know of this little breach of contract. So then we find out that the receptionist who copied the shot records doesn't evidentally know how to use a copy machine. The records were cut off. They are up-to-date. Just like I said! I wasn't blindly letting them give another shot until I got to the bottom of it which I explained. Well the snotty woman ended up apologizing. I think she got the gist that I wasn't going to take it and she shouldn't mess with me.

So we get the physicals started. They even check the urine. Do you know your daughter has sugar in her urine. Well DAH she has Type 1 diabetes. No keotone right? Well thats fine then. We finally meet the doctor. She's fine. Nice enough. Not too bubbly but that is ok. She is thorough and gives me all the prescriptions I need. Now I have what I need for the next 6 months and the referral to the new endo. She wasn't too up on what the HBA1C should be and was the one who asked about sugar in the urine. Not too sure about sugar numbers but hey she isn't the specialist.

I got Carylanne into the Neumour Children's Clinic in Orlando in May Soonest I could get was May 19. I was told by the peds doctor that I was lucky to get in that soon. It is a diabetes program though with nurse practitioners and everything. WOW actually diabetes support system. They are on staff at Arnold Palmer Children's Hospital. It's supposed to be a good hospital. Hopefully we never need it!

Now I can get everything filled and hold on til May. They drew blood for the HBA1c yesterday. I expect this one to suck. With being on the road and the stress of moving, I am expecting and 8.5 or higher. I pray I am wrong though. Her numbers these last couple weeks are horrible. I am tweeking basals and carb ratios, checking early morning and finding her at 5m to be 304 or higher. ARRGGHH!!! I know she is in a growth spurt but this is very annoying. 3 weeks ago we had low problems. Then she totally changes gears and starts going high. I am going to change out today and try different insulin. It's got to be more than a growth spurt. She is up to .95 units during pre-dawn and nearly as much for her basals the rest of the day. And she is not being a couch potato. I am hoping we are not experiencing insulin resistance at this age.

Well time to do her shower and change out. Let's hope we get somewhere the new few days. I hate not being able to get ahold of these numbers.

Heigh-ho it's off to work I go but I am not one of the dwarfs!

2006-03-23T17:12:00.000-10:00

I think I am at the breaking point of stress. Oh I thought the move and traveling was going to be tough. But it is nothing compared to starting a new life with 1.) a disabled husband and 2.) child with diabetes. Not to mention poor Christianne who must not be forgotten. First off and I must stress this highly THE ARMY DOES NOT MAKE ANY OF THIS EASY! that screamed into the dark night (and yet I still don't feel better). Dave got his last paycheck on March 1st. This was not his last day of pay mind you. Oh no, they take his last 12 days of work (he ETS'd on March 12), his 60 days leave they owe us, his severence pay and other misc entitlements and lump it all into one pay. But when will we actually see this cash??? The next full moon perhaps. Or maybe when Bush is out of office??? Haven't seen a dime yet. If it weren't for me getting our taxes done PDQ we'd have nothing to live off of. Then he is entitled to file unemployment. Great. One week waiting period but at least some money coming in while he looks for a job. (insert sarcasm here that will later be explained). We get a notice today that unemployment is right now denied until THE MILITARY GETS AROUND TO REPORTING HIS F'ING EARNINGS FROM THE QUARTER IN QUESTION! Yep that's right, they don't have to do things like everyone else. So we are told that it takes 14 days or more for the military to do their job once it's requested. So in the meantime we get nothing until they get off their royal keisters.

NOw the job quest. What can a man with no use of his right hand, a bad back (s0 bad he takes morphine) and walks with a cane do??? Every job either involves lifting, sorry can't do any of that, or use of your dominant hand. Oh boy the army doctors screwed that up, said a really heartfelt WHOOPSS and sent him on his way. Then there is trying to get the VA to actually fix some of the problem. You could light dynamite into the VA system and it still wouldn't move any faster!! I am not blaming individuals BUT we have run into some of the most indifferent, callous, misinforming individuals I have ever met. barring of course Army personnel. The old saying in the army is F' up move up! So here I wait for our travel reimbursement. Not like it didn't cost us $$$ to travel back to where the army took us from. Then the $$$ they army offered us to take the discharge and go away. It is meant for us to live on until they get off their asses and decide gee I think we better process this claim for pension some time before the person dies! He finally has an appointment with the Orthopedics specialist next week to talk about his hand. I am not getting my hopes up that this will be the doctor he needs to see to schedule his surgery. That would be too easy. I estimate it will take at least 2 more referrals to get him to someone that can try to repair the mess they made at Tripler. We've been told the repair may be removing the bones. This means way less movement but no more pain. I opt for this but Dave wants to try one more bone fusion. Not my call. Maybe after all that (which may take a year) they can look into any other treatments for his back. The military and consequently the VA take care of 1 thing at a time.

I am so stressed out. Stressed just doesn't describe it best though. I have just had enough. Carylanne's numbers have been all over the place this past month. I increased her basals and we are doing a bit better. She is in another growth spurt. We go to the new pediatrician next Friday. Then I have to get her in to a new endo. I hate starting over with new doctors. You never know how they are going to be. I am not the type that writes down every blessed thing. If she gets sick I start keeping records in case we end up at the hospital but day to day is not for us. She uses a freestyle and we download the meter to check for trends and problems etc. I know her HBA1C is going to suck this time. Too much change and turmoil. We are trying to get back to school but its not the same with Dad around. They are easily distracted.

Now above everything else I have to go back to work. I know that for many of you who are working mothers you may not understand this total stress and anxiety I have about this. It's just that I have not worked in 6 years and not since Carylanne was diagnosed. I am not going back for a sense of freedom or need for satisfaction. Its not the job I dreamed of getting when we returned to Florida. I had said if I have to work at least I can go to Disney where I will be happy at work. But Disney is too far away right now. When I chose this apartment I screwed up. Its a nice place but 40 miles away from Disney. I couldn't drive all that way right now. Plus gas prices are soaring. It is purely economical. I need to work nights. 6 pm and later. So I got a job at Wal-Mart. Less than 5 mns from the house. I wanted to be close "just in case" plus less traveling means less time away. I just hate the idea of not having my freedom and having to miss times with the girls that I should be there. I know I will have to work on holidays and other special occassions. I know I can't have them all off. I just will miss my family a whole lot and I'm not too sure about dad's patience with them while I am gone. I guess I have to hold my breath and pray for the best. I am so angry at the army for leaving him like this. OUr lives have changed so much and its kind of hard to swallow some days. All the rules have changed. I was suppsed to stay home and raise the girls. He would work. Sometimes I would think maybe I need to get a part-time job so I can feel like I make some money of my own. etc. But I never would have really ventured out and got one. Now that reality has hit and I have to work I hate the idea with a passion. I must say that the manger made the job sound pretty good and believe it or not they pay pretty well. Above minimum wage even. NOt bad benefits for part-timers but a job away from my family none-the-less. When I get some time I am going to write letters. One to our Congressman and one to a news show. They may not care. Maybe, hopefully they will care what our military services are doing to the veterans. We are not the only ones gettign the run-a-round.

Well time to try to get some much needed sleep. Another day dawns by 8.

I was tagged and didn't know it

2006-03-16T18:13:00.001-10:00

Hey all. In looking back on posts etc from all my time on the road I found I was tagged back in Feb. So in sitting here having my Sangria I thought about all my 4 things. I will have to post my list but I think everyone else has already been tagged in my time off.

Anyway.....

4 jobs I have had:

Bank Teller: I was robbed at gun point. The robber watched too many tv dramas and took too many drugs. He came bursting in the bank at high noon, putting all the customers on the floor and jumped the teller counter. Truly terrifying. He was captured a week later when his girlfriend turned him in. Hard to explain spreading blue dye all over your body. Smart-guy took my dye pack and it exploded about 5 mins into his get-a-way.
Waitress: Not my best job. I once spilled a large glass of ice water onto a young guys crotch. OOO REFRESHING!!!
Sandwich maker: Ever wonder where those gas station sandwiches come from? I once worked in a warehouse making sandwiches for gas stations. Trust me they are not fit for human consumption!
CSR for Cox Cable: I worked for over 4 years as a customer service rep for cable tv. I once had a customer who was totally irate and rude. (Yeah actually I had a lot of these customers) This one in particular told me that I should be just happy he was a customer and that he paid my salary. Well that was the last straw. So I married him 3 months later. And he knows never to say that to anyone again as I haven't worked in years so HE DOES PAY MY SALARY!

4 movies I can watch over and over
I love THE BREAKFAST CLUB I can recite most of the dialogue and must have seen it about 100 times. Pirates of the Carribean-I just love watching Johnny Depp! STRIPES-Arrrmmy Training Sir! that's a fact jack! Disney Movies: I have most of them and watch them all frequently. I haven't found one I don't like. Winnie-the-Pooh is my favorite however.

4 places I have lived:
Honolulu Hawaii. In a dormant volcanic crater
Ft Polk, Leesville Louisiana
Ft Drum, Watertown, New York
Coventry Rhode Island

4 shows I love;
M*A*S*H I have always loved it. Who knew I would some day live it.
2 1/2 Men. I absolutely love this show. Does anyone remember the SQUAB episode
Blue Collar TV- We love Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall!
Ghost HUnters- I love shows about the paranormal. Weird fasination I guess! Better yet SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH

4 places I've gone on vacation:
Disneyland/Disney World Our favorite all time place
Hawaii Volcano National Park.-Truly awesome! We stayed in a cabin right on the volcano of Kilauea. Also went to the top of Mauna Kea to the observatory. Just awesome!
Smokey Mountains Tenn: Dave and I went up in a helicoptor/ drove all though the mountains. Went down into a underground cave all the time I was feeling sicker and sicker. Who knew I was 7 weeks pregnant!
Washington DC: I love it here. We got to see all the monuments and even the White House before the tours were discontinued. Carylanne wanted to know if Abe Lincoln ate at the Hard Rock Cafe before going to the theatre.

4 favorite foods;

Lobster
Key Lime Cheesecake ( I have an awesome recipe)
French Meat Pie
Prime Rib

4 websites I visit every day

Superkids Math- This has math for the kids but links to some cool online games. I love playing spongebob when I can't sleep.
Projo.com I check up on happenings from my home state
Blogs from most of you
E-Bay (I love to browse for deals)

4 places I'd rather be right now
On a cruise
In Disney World ( I am so close and yet so far right now)
Europe
Can't dream too much about being somewhere else after I have already come so far. 6000 miles later I guess I am where I need to be.

Well I would love to tag someone but I think you have all been tagged. I think I will start another little list

Best childhood memory/Best memory you would like to give to your children (or future children)

My best childhood memory; The first that coems to mind.. Going out to lunch on Fridays just my mom and me. Sometimes my teacher would join us. I remember the little resturant by my mother's work and the hamburgers being so good. (I went to Cathoic School then and my mom worked at the church). It was my time with mom.

Memory I would like to give my daughters: I wouldn't want my daughters to only define their childhood by all the places we have gone or the toys they have. I hope they remember that where ever we were, we were together and that they were always loved. Some times in our lives we have had more to give them, more we could afford to do. But other times things were tough. But through it all we were together and loved them always. I hope that diabetes never clouds these memories of family time.

For this I would like to tag Carkisser/and Shannon of MOM WANTS A CURE!

Final day as SGT and Mrs Joubert

2006-03-12T17:01:00.000-10:00

Well today is the last day of our military life!! Yesterday we were fortunate to go to Sea World courtesy of Budweiser. They are offering free admission for military and up to 3 dependants as a thank you. We had one last day to take advantage of the offer. It was fabulous and we had a great time.

Officially as of midnight, however, we are civilians. How cool! We got as cake for daddy that said "I'm Free!" We try to make light of the moment. It's a bittersweet moment. 18 1/2 years of serving and he is left diabled and trying to figure out what he can do for the rest of his working years. He was an electrical/ electronic engineer. He can no longer use tools in his right hand. He worked as a truck driver as well. But can no longer lift. Some days he can't lifet his leg up to the curb. He can't take caps off jars never mind use hand tools.

We are settling in little by little. Its been rough at times. We had to get a smaller apartment than we really need because we wanted to make sure of what we could afford. Well we are a close family. Good thing. We attemped going to the VA on Wednesday. We drove 2 1/2 hours to St Petersburg for basically nothing. He put his claim in in Hawaii and nothing has showed up yet. Until he is officially out (today) nothing really gets done. Even though he has been gone from the army for over a month He's been on terminal leave so it didn't count. Then Thursday we went to Orlando to the clinic so Dave could get his meds and find out about the surgery he needs. Yeah right. Forms to fill out and a we'll cal you to come in for a 2 hour class before we will issue you your medical card and assign you a doctor. THEN we find out unless they rate him at 100% we will get nothing in the form of benefits. Of course we will fight for 100%. Many days he can't even tie his own shoes because of his back and he can't do much with his right hand as they left him with it broken. Boy I have some letters to write this week. We were waiting until he as out because we have a lot to say to our congressman and we are naming names! So it's been a bit stressful to say the least. I feel bad because I know it is affecting the girls a lot. Their room is small and they can't play like they used to. I need to get school going this week and find the library etc. They need to go back to something resembling normal but I am not sure what that is anymore. We have to figure out jobs and such now. Dave did apply for a bus drivers job. Motor Coach for a big company. It wouldn't involve lifting so that is good. He will never make the money he used to but he is limited what he can do. Once the VA rates his disability which will take up to 8 months we will start to get money from them. But until then we will make due. At least this company he spoke to has good enefits. He already has his CDL lic. so he was told once he comes in the job would be his. I just pray they still feel that way when they find out he is a disabled vet.

Well so much for starting our new life. Its a bit scary some days. But there are SO many jobs here. Not big paying ones but lots and lots to choose from. I am hoping to go to Disney to apply once he knows what hours he will be working. Such a big change for the girls. I have always been home. They will have time to bond more with daddy while I work. NOw I have to get doctors established and get the girls feeliong at home again. They are so good with "rolling with it". Luckily they like it here. They like the area (it is really nice), and the weather is like Hawaii. Plus we took them to Sea World Sat. They loved that and knowing that they will get to go to these things more than most kids. Once we get all that is coming to us from the Army we can get annual passes to Disney. That will be loads of fun!Well I'm off for my glass of wine on my balcony. At least that dream had become reality. We have a beautiful water fountain in the lake behind the house. It is lit at night. I like to sit and listen to the wildlife. I heard baby alligators the other day. Pretty neat!

We're home finally!

2006-02-28T04:20:00.000-10:00

Long journey ended we are now home in Florida. It was fun but I am so glad to be home. Now the real work begins. Unpacking is just a small part. We have doctors to secure, jobs, VA claims, surgery for Dave. Just so much its all hard to think of. I may be out on my balcony more than I imagined.

It was nice to visit our families BUT we have been away for a long time. It is hard to go back. Rhode Island defnately was no longer home. Being in the house for 10 days with my parents was nice but rough. Beleive it or not they go to bed way too late!!! We are so sleep deprived. For senior citizens they sure need an earlier bed time. The girls got to see both sets of grandparents. Now they are set for awhile.

Well home to reality. We will plough through each "task" until we are truly settled. #1 on list. Go to grocery store.... Need food, paper goods, BOTTLE of WINE (most important).....

Through all this we found diabetes didn't slow us or Carylanne a bit. We had a few days with the ups and downs of high numbers. But no real lows and no terrible highs. But lots of fun and memories. That is what matters most!

WE ARE NOW FLORIDIANS!!!!!!!!

2006-02-23T18:01:00.000-10:00

We made it!! I finally have use of a computer to post this. Sunday Feb 12 we drove into Florida. What a great relief. Seeing the country was fabulous, but seeing WELCOME TO FLORIDA topped it all.

We are so happy with the apartment. Brand new everything and the town is really nice. We aren't quite through with all we have to do but boy have we come a long way. The girls are thrilled. They love the way the apartment looks and the community. We checked out the area until moving in on the 14th. One night in the apartment and we were off again. We drove to Rhode Island (which is where we are now until Sunday). It was a good idea to visit grandparents until our household goods were ready to arrive. I am happy to say they are in Florida and being delivered on the 2nd. So things are coming together. Once we can set up our home we can settle in. My balcony is awesome. I can't wait to live out my daydream from Hawaii of sitting on my balcony, sipping tea (or a bahama mama) and reading a good book! We even got an end unit apartment how cool is that!

Carylanne has done great through all this. Some high numbers here in Rhode Island but with everything its been mostly good.

So now we visit until Sunday and then off for 1 more long ride. Lots of work ahead with unpacking, setting up pur new home and getting hubby taken care of. It feels like we are almost at the end of a very long tunnel and have found our way out. Can't wait to really start living like a Floridian!!!

Oh by the way..... We are absolutely FREEZING up here!!!!!!!!!!!

WE'RE ALMOST THERE!!!

2006-02-11T03:39:00.000-10:00

With 2,182 miles behind us we are almost to Florida. YIPPEE!! Two days of straight driving has left us all a little stiff but later today we should finally cross into Florida by way of Route 10. We will still have one more day until we get to central Florida but hey I'll take FLORIDA WELCOMES YOU by way of any town by now.

Carylanne's numbers have been really good since we realized that her basals needed a boost. One day of bad numbers had us scratching our heads. Then a change of sites and figuring that the inactivity of the car ride was also to blame and we were back in the 100's again. No lows. no highs AKA a perfect numbers day! I love those. Nothing under 100 nothing over 160. Can't ask for better. Now if we could just win the battle of the dry skin and chaffing!!

Some things we had totaly forgotten about in Hawaii. Dry Skin.... Haven't had that in 3 years. My girls are chaffing and Christianne's hands are red. I need stock in Lubriderm!
Static electricity. Doesn't exist on Oahu so we had forgotten about it. The girls are not enjoying it. NOt eventhe fact that they can zap each other at the drop of a hat. Hey I loved that when I was a kid.

We nearly saw snow yesterday but decided it was too soon for that a detoured around it by way of dropping south into Dallas and Louisiana. Now today we will drive south east and enjoy the scenery. Maybe some good southern cooking and just be excited about the destination. (a thing lost in the last couple days with so much driving and boredom!)Hope you all have a good weekend!!!!

THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES!!!!

2006-02-08T19:23:00.000-10:00

Our grand adventure continues on with new stops this week. Monday we headed off to Vegas. Driving through the Mojave desert the girls were watching Brother Bear. The song "tell everybody I'm on my way, new friends and new places to see" seemed to say it all for our new life. It just doesn't seem like it is us this is happening to. Like watching it on tv or reading about it. Moving somewhere new to start a whole new life, meet new people, new jobs. But it really is us and we have waited for a long time for this.

Well we arrived in Las Vegas at 4 pm. Very glitzy but not our kind of town. We stayed right on the strip at a nice hotel. The Flamingo. It had a fabulous buffet which for us was heavenly as we have not had many of those foods in over 3 years. We don't gamble and of course have the kids with us so there wasn't too much to do. Tuesday we went to Hoover Dam. Very nice scenery. Today we set off to Flagstaff AZ which is where I am coming to you from now. After dropping our things at the hotel we drove up to the Grand Canyon! How breathtaking! We got to see it at sunset. Then we saw deer and elk on the drive back. The girls thought that was so cool.

Carylanne's numbers are doing very well. A few highs in the 300 range but I did an early change out and we were back on track. I think with all the excitement and driving we are doing fairly well. The fridge we got for her insulin is working great!! It is a mini-fridge. It can't freeze the insulin as it doesn't get that cold. But it gets to 40 degrees and is working out great. I had one comment about letting the insulin get warm. I was told that if it is at room temp then it is good for a month. Let's face it once its in the pump it warms up and is good for the 3 days or so. But I have 6 vials on me and don't want it all to get warm. But thanks to Bethany for the advice. I have let one vial at a time go to room temp when she was on shots and it worked as good as her cold insulin. The fridges in the hotels are touchy and can freeze your stuff easily. We put the insulin in the door away from the back of the fridge where is is the coldest. But now that I have our own liitle portable fridge we are all set without needing in room ones.

Tomorrow we hit the road and DRIVE. David is tired of the in and out of hotels and wants to get some miles behind us. I am ready for that too. I want to get to Florida soon. We get our apartment next wed and then can head to Rhode Island. We haven't been there in 4 years and it will be great to see my parents again.

I have learned on this trip and hopefully taught my daughters that we can manage and do anything. Diabetes or not, nothing should get in the way if you want something. We have waited a long time for this and it hardly seems real. To be going to Florida finally and be civilians seems like a dream. Well Dave is doing laundry so I could get the girls off to bed. He really is one of the great ones!

JOUBERT'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE-II

2006-02-05T20:13:00.000-10:00

We survived 3 days in Disney! Disney Land has been great. Especially Carylanne's BG numbers. So far we haven't had any lows despite tons of walking. Her joints are doing great and she has been able to do all the walking without assistance. A miracle in itself from how she was a year ago! We spent all day Friday and Saturday in the parks. They went on their first rollar coaster ride with Daddy. Mom doesn't do rollar coasters anymore. I used to go on them all but somehow in the last couple yeas I became my mother and stopped being able to tolerate them. I used to think she was so OLD for not going on them. How terrible to now be that OLD mother!

Friday we saw the Remember the Magic parade. Christianne cried though the whole thing because she was so happy! She got to see Tinker Bell at the head of the parade which is her absolute favorite! Saturday we surprised the girls with lunch at Ariel's Grotto. This is a special luncheon with Ariel and all her friends. They "met" Snow White, Cindarella, Belle, Jasmine, and Ariel. Talk about starstruck. We saw the best fire works over the castle at night. What a spectacuar time. In case you cannot tell by my enthusiam over Disney or by our choice of new homes, we are total Disney fanatics. A great part of our wardrobes is Disney as well as my home. Luckily my husband shares my enthusiasm with all things Disney. He is totally Grumpy, right down to the tattoo of Grumpy on his leg. I love all Disney but especially POOH who is tattooed on my leg. My girls love all things Disney of course. I intend to get my job back when we are settled in Florida.

Today we went to Hollywood. How cool to see the Hollywood sign set up in the hills. We went to Citywalk in Universal Studios. It all just doesn't seem real to be on the mainland and on this vacation. For a family originally from RI we have been a real long way!!

Tomorrow we are on to Vegas for 2 nights. While we won't be gambling I hear there are shows etc for us to see and Hoover Dam. Then we will head to Flagstaff and so on.

All along this trip our greatest concern has been of course Carylanne's diabetes. Mostly keeping her insulin cold. My husband designed an awesome cooler that kept it cold with gel packs for 12 hours while we were on the plane. Now we have purchased a small electronic refrigerator, found at wal-mart. It runs off the cigarette lighter in the van as well as regular power in the room. It keeps things cold to 40 degrees. So far it is nice and cold and ready to be tested out tomorrow on our drive to Las Vegas. I may love this thing. Especially living in Florida. If we lose power we can plug it in in the van and keep her insulin cool through a storm.

Well that's it on on adventure thus far. Aside from all living in a hotel room for nearly 2 weeks it is going great. I am so pleased that the girls are having fun and that Carylanne's numbers are so good. I know she may have a higher HBA1C after this but in all I couldn't be happier. Time for Bedtime prayers and sweet dreams of our continued adventure.......

THE JOUBERT'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE-I

2006-02-02T18:42:00.000-10:00

We are finally on the road! My computer got packed before I could even post that we had movers coming. That was an experience I would love to forget. They packed and moved our belongings in one day leaving us in an empty apartment, sleeping on cardboard boxes for a night until we could clear housing the next day. My poor husband's back! Our neighbor gave us an air mattress that my husband lovingly gave to the girls and I however the air went out of it after an hour. Once we cleared housing and tried to put our things in my car we found out we had much more than a compact car could hold. It was also pouring rain throughout all this. So we leave some things at a neighbor's house, pack the car beyond capacity and head to the base. I have never been so tired. Once we got into the base hotel things got much better. We got some much needed sleep and things began to fall into place. Until the weekend when Christianne got sick. Of course I got it by Monday and yes Carylanne by Tues night. Nothing like flying with stuffy noses and coughing up lungs! Well Wednesday went off well. We left Honolulu at 2:05 and arrived in LA at 9pm. The hotel I booked for 1 night was horrid. It smelled like urine. Also not in the best part of town. Although reviews on the net said it was a good place. Yeah right when my husband who is trained in combat is nervous it is a problem. This morning we checked out, rented a car and went to get our van. Sounds easy right?? Only I had to drive it behind hubby in the rental from Long Beach to Anaheim. Did I ever mention I don't drive much??? Plus I have been living on an island for 3 years and before that out in the country. So here I am driving on the California highways. So my nerves are shot!!! We are now in a nice hotel outside of Disneyland. In fact we can walk right into the park and will do so tomorrow. My girls are so excited. It is so weird how different Disneyland is to Disney World. Carylanne's sugars have actually not been too bad. Her cold is getting better. It's just a lingering cough now. The time change messed up the schedule a bit. But we are trying to get back on schedule. At least the first time change was only 2 hours. NOw it will be 1 hour at a time to the east coast. Monday we head to Vegas for 2 nights. The girls are getting the lesson of a lifetime!!! Well time for a much needed rest. Tomorrow we can all be children and see Mickey and all our friends.... Will keep you all updated as my computer is available For now BYE from THE JOUBERT'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE!!!!

Almost nearly there

2006-01-18T11:13:00.000-10:00

Well it's a new week and we are getting things done. Hubby is "Clearing Base". A term in the army which means, "drive the soldier completely insane, making him/her drive to every conceivable service and or service available to see if he/she/or a family member owes money to or has borrowed anything from them. AKA library service/PX Commissary/outdoor recreation" Then the unit clearing making sure you have not left any loose ends. Sounds logical right. Not when those who have to clear you don't particuliarly want to so they make life hard. THEN you make moving arrangements but are told "oh this is just tentative. Call 5 days prior to make sure, otherwise we could change your pick-up days to half past who cares." Then i love the "you have to clear housing and be totally moved out before you can be signed off base, BUT we will take several days after you clear to do that, which time you must stay in a hotel at your expense." In Hawaii no less. Like that comes cheap. Way more than our housing allowance and more than paying the enourmous rent we have been paying. Then finally you clear finance. That is when you finally get to find out what they are paying, what you are paying and when you get your money. Which is always right after they get theirs. Nothing comes easy in this. But each night we collect our sanity for another day.

But if all the tentative plans come together we will have our household goods packed and picked up next week. Move into a hotel on Wednesday night and finish this painful process. If all that goes according to plan our plane leaves Honolulu Feb 1. Please keep all your collective fingers crossed. OK!?

Meanwhile the girls are just beside themselves with joy. I am sure this is not the normal reaction of leaving Hawaii. They have planned out their days in Disneyland to the letter. They have given Grandma their food lists for that portion of our trip. I think they are covered. Of course they have no recollection of a long road trip. This should be good. They are already forbidden to utter those 4 annoying words "are we there yet?" for the duration. That will be my job. Although with new tougher standards on flights I know I cannot ring the flight attendant every 5 minutes to ask this question. But I can ask Hubby across 6000 miles. (I like to see that little vein in his head bulge and turn purple). Seriously we are planning to drive 6000 miles in total. A concept that some find crazy. I find it freeing and liberating.

Meanwhile in my mind I am sitting in my new home, sipping ice tea on my balcony. Hubby is at his new job, kids are playing in their room, and I am reading a good book. Sounds like a good fantasy. Until then I better go pack up some more stuff, get ready to go ship our van and try not go insane until then.

How I met your father.

2006-01-11T10:14:00.000-10:00

I love the new show how I met your mother. My kids love to hear the odd story on how I met Dave and how we got married. I thought I would share it so that my comments of a marriage that wasnt supposed to work would make sense. Mind you I have told my daughters that they are never to do what I did.

Dave was an irrate customer. I worked for the cable company. He came into my office and was upset at the installation charges at his new apartment. I was told (I kid you not) that "I should just be happy he was a customer and that he paid my salary." After getting him to calm down and offering an installation deal he stopped being such a jerk. In fact he was kind of cute. We started talking on the phone. I lied and said I was looking for an electrician to run some wire in my apartment. I knew he was an electrician because he filled out a job app. as he was laid off. Well after talking on the phone for several hours he came over to visit and check out the wiring. We began dating, once a week, in April. I saw him only once a week. After June I saw him 2 times a week. He was always busy with the fire dept (volunteer) and other obligations. I really though he was married at first or otherwise taken. I had really contemplated breaking up but couldn't. I thought 1 day a week is better than nothing. I really like this guy. I told him I loved him one night. He looked deep into my eyes, smiled and replied "THANK YOU" and went home. OUr phone bills wer really high and I worked closer to where he lived than me. SO I decided to move closer to him. He wouldn't even help me look for an apartment. But I wanted to move anyway so I didn't care. I didn't think we were going to make it anyway. He only saw me 1 or 2 times a week. Finally around July 13 we started spending a lot of time together. I had found an apartment and was moving in the last week of July. He told me one night that he really did love me and that he was thinking of asking me to marry him. He didn't ask however, just said he was thinking about it. He asked me to go camping on the 25th for my birthday. I had never been camping. We went to Maine. On the way I kiddingly said hey they don't need blood tests in NH we could runaway and get married HAHAHA. Near the campground was his Mom's best friend and a woman who was like a second mom to him when growing up. We stopped in to say hi. It was actually a test. Brenda loved me and said his mother would have approved. He told her that he was going to propose. She told him her mother was a JP and blood tests weren't needed in Maine. But there was a 3 day waiting period. Well the following day we were supposed to go back to RI for me to start moving. He asked if I wanted to stay another night and go home on MOnday instead. Of course I did I was having a great time and finally having lots of time together. That night he made a camp fire meal of hotdogs and macaroni and cheese. He got winecoolers too. After dinner he went into this speach about how I had changed his life. Then he asked me to marry him on Thurs. We got the license the next morning. We went Dutch. It was $5 each for the license. We went back to RI announced our engagement (but left out the Thurs part) bought rings and moved me. On Wed we drove back to Maine. Thur we were able to pick up the licenses and on Thurs our friend's mother married us in her living room. We had dated for 3 1/2 months. We had actually gone out on official dates twice before the camping trip. But we just knew. You can imagine how shocked our families were. We went to dinner at my parents that sunday to begin "planning" a wedding. Then I broke the news. (behind our backs the bet was 6 months at the most). Well we are going on 14 years and have lasted longer than our brothers and sisters marriages. Go figure.

I tell him that I am stubborn so we are together to prove my mother wrong. He laughs. The kids think it is so funny that he said Thank You when I said I love you. I told them if a boy does that to them, DUMP HIM! I tell him that I paid $5 for him so that means I own him. He paid for me too. We have a strange sense of humor and that is what gets us through. It can be hard at times. We really didn't know each other well and didn't know what we were getting into. We jumped in head first but decided to be determined to make it work. I have seen so many people who date for years only to be divorced before 5 years. I have decided it is not how well you know someone but how committed you are to making it work. Thinsg have been so stressful and hard this last year that I remind myself often that I am stubborn and will continue to make it work. Somedays we are still madly in love. Some I could trade him to another country. But that is what marriage is.
Not sure whay I wanted to write about this today. Just something on my mind after last night when he took care of everythng for me why I was hurting. He is usually a real great guy. But his moody days are hell. But aren't we all like that??!!

Moving Right Along

2006-01-11T09:12:00.000-10:00

Made it through oral surgery yesterday. Boy did that suck!! Still does, my mouth is killing me. Not to mention not wanting to see the gaping hole now in the back of my mouth. Will definately be getting a bridge when we have insurance again. Luckily it is in the back. It took so much tugging to remove the tooth I thought he was going to break my jaw. Well that sent my heart racing and I was so shaky when it was all over I just wanted to cry. But I couldn't in front of the kids. So I had to "suck it up and drive on". Then I went to Vicadin world so it was a bit better. I would still like to be in Vicadin world today but I have to drive later. I'll take a visit there tonight.
In the continuing saga of our move we are finally making progress. The movers will be coming in 2 weeks. Luckily we planned ahead and have already begun packing, our way, and will have 1 last yard sale on Sat. Planning ahead though does not take the stress out of it all. I have to say first that your positive comments and suggestions are truly giving me strength for this. In our last move it was again cyber-buddies from CWD that helped me get through it all. In reflecting on how much we have gone through to gather strength for this I found myself making a list of those things which we have already overcome. They are many. My husband and I have had it tough over the years But we remained strong and together and in these times that is half the battle. Especially for a marriage which was never supposed to work. I will bore you with my list. Not for sympathy but mainly because maybe if I see it in print it will seem less daunting and more like someone else's life.

Up until 2000 we had had our share of troubles and triumphs. But in 2000 we made the decision to start a new life. We tried in Florida but things fell through. It was a horrible time for us. We ended up homeless due to a tragic instance of trusting someone who said they wanted to help us then changed their mind. So Dave went into the active Army. He had been National Guard for 13 years and we had talked about the Army as a back-up plan for a long time. So with two toddlers in tow we headed to FT Drum. This was a tough life in the beginning. We were not used to being told what to do all the time. (he was the soldier but I had to live by the army's rules too. They are totally into your business).
In August 2000 Dave got hurt. We knew his hand had to be broken but they wouldn't do an x-ray. So he had to deploy for training and do everything he normally would but in a great deal of pain. Finally in Jan 2001 they did an x-ray. Yep broken and now destroyed. We were sent to Walter Reed to the specialist. This was cool because I always wanted to go to Washington DC. So the girls and I tagged along. We went a total of 13 times in the next year and a half. Enough to see all the monuments and the Smithsonian. So this was a good thing from a bad.

9/11/2001 we were in DC and staying at Walter Reed. Dave had had surgery 4 days prior and we were planning to go to the Pentagon that morning. It was the only place we hadn't seen and he was feeling up to going out for awhile. What delayed us is a change of appointment with the specialist to check his progress. I think it was more divine intervention. As we were getting ready we had on the news and saw live as the second plane hit the towers. Just as I was saying that I suddenly didn't feel so safe in DC and hubby was replying it will be fine, The Pentagon was hit. We were a ways away but could see the flames burting up int he sky. From then on chaos broke out. We were in lock down on base as the wounded were sent there. Dave's cast was changed and we were released to go home. But we had to wait until next day. No one at first knew where the 4th plane was and being on an army base didn't feel so safe at that point. Next day we drove back to NY. It was a sad and somber day. Signs at every over pass. The base we left was not the one we came back to. With tanks at the gates and soldiers locked and loaded. I watched my husband pack one handed to get ready to go to war. His unit was on stand-by but did not go right then. More prayers answered.
Over the next months Dave healed. Friends went off to war.
On June 7, 2002 Carylanne was diagnosed with Diabetes and Hypothyroidism.
Sept 5, 2002 we went to Walter Reed for Carylanne for terrble joint pain. She was diagnosed with Enthesopahy.
Nov 2002 we moved to Ft Polk, Louisiana. We were barely there. They did not have medical facilities to treat Carylanne. Her diagnoses would have prevented us from going there had the orders been cut after the diagnoses. NOw stuck waiting for a reassignment, Carylanne was getting sicker. I was trying to take care of her diabetes but did not have all the knowledge yet. I got that from CWD and all the wonderful parents there. I learned to Carb count really quick and figure out dosing. Her doctors in NY had still had us calling in her numbers and giving us the dosage info. Carylanne got sick and we had to go to the ER. The doctor was horrible and treated us terribly. She was getting chest pains and they thought it could be her heart. (turned out to be acid reflux disease) I had finally had enough. I went to bat to fight for my family. I did something that still boggles many minds in the army even Now. I sent an email to the Commanding General of the base. I explained my grave concern for my daughter's health while they dragged their feet with our paperwork. He contacted my house PERSONALLY. He called a meeting with my husband's entire chain of command and the hospital chain of command. I had to speak at the meeting. Here were 20 men all on the hot seat and some about to lose their positions for the treatment we were receiving. The General personally handled our transfer. It was determined that Hawaii would be the best place for us. So in a whirlwind move that I barely remember we came to Hawaii.
The doctors here were not as good as we were led to believe but I fought for her treatment right up to this year. I found her a great doctor and fought the army to pay for it. I found her physical therapy for her joints. I got her on the pump when the army doctor wanted us to wait. (due to her not wanting the resposibility, not us) It has been an uphill battle most days. Then all this with Dave's health. We have always felt we were fighting for something or another. Some of Dave's Commanders and bosses have been good. Others just horrible. We never asked for speial treatment and when the unit deployed last year, Dave was left behind due to work reasons and being needed here. But many didn't see it that way. They "thought" he was getting special treatment. Well that didn't lead to many friends or support. All the meanwhile trying to make sure my daughter Christianne is not being left out or forgotten.

Well I think I need to approach all this now as a big relief. It is actually. We have new worries. JObs, health insurance after Sept. BUt we have survived so far. I tell the girls often that our prayers really are answered. Not always in the way we think they should be but God does watch over us. Going to Florida has been 6 years in the making. We have learned and seen a lot along the way. I am excited to get there and will savor the moments. I can picture sitting on my balcony and looking back on all this. Until then I will take a deep breath, suck it up and drive on!

Thanks for all your support and kind words. It really helps!!!!

7.8 and the end of a great Endo (sob!)

2006-01-09T15:31:00.000-10:00

Today was our last appointment with Carylanne's endo. He was so great. It is like saying good-bye to a trusted friend. We started going to him 2 years ago. (After a great deal of fighting with the army for a civilian doctor). He has been great. He got Carylanne on the pump. Really helpful with everything and we learned a lot from him. He was great in teaching us a whole bunch so we would be confident and not feel dependant on a doctor for every answer etc. Her latest HBA1C 7.8. Not bad. I would have liked it a bit lower in the 7's but with the holidays and stress of the impending move I will take 7.8. Her thyroid is holding steady without needing a bigger dose of the synthroid. So that was good too. I think we have all our supplies and everything planned out well for the big move. Went over it all with doctor today. Luckily I can call him until we get situated in Florida.

Got a call over the weekend that our apartment has been released from the contractors and could be ready for move-in by Feb 11. We chose Feb 15 to give us time to travel. I sent out the deposit immediately so we are all set. Will have the lease signed and sent out this week as well. At least that is all coming together.

We should finally have our orders tomorrow, unless they find another reason to hold them up. We haven't been able to schedule movers or shipping of our vehicles without them. Once tomorrow hits we will really be off running. We have movers to schedule, cars to ship, reservations for hotels to make. Plane tickets to get. I am dizzy from thinking of it all. Think tonight I will have a beer and relax before it all hits!!! But it will have to be on the warm side. You see in our life we are like EEYORE. Something always has to go wrong. Last week it was my tooth. It seems I ate a killer M & M. I cracked my back tooth in an unusual way, according to the dentist and tomorrow afternoon amist all this confusion I have to go to the oral surgeon to have it removed. It has been killing me for over a week. This was horrible timing mostly because hubby has to get out of work too take the girls and he needs to be able to make all these arrangements. On the good side at least it happened now while we still have insurance. Next month we wouldn't have AND we will be on the road. But alas it rains on us all the time. Somedays I think I should have had EEYORE tattooed on my leg and not Winnie the Pooh!

Next packing and packing and cleaning. URGGHH I hate this part. I wish I had a pair of ruby slippers. There's no place like Florida, There's no place like Florida. As much as I would miss going to Disneyland and Hollywood I would like to be sipping a Bahama Mama overlooking my lake view at the moment and not up to my eyes in chaos!!! But the girls would be terribly disappointed.

2006-01-05T14:03:00.000-10:00

What a beautiful day! For any and all of you who are sitting in cold and snowy weather I appologize right up front for this post. Today is just gorgeous here in Hawaii. Not a beach day. A bit cool at 75 for that. But what was beautiful wasn't so much the weather but the experience of the day. It was a beautiful playground day. The girls played for over and hour at the "big playground" on Hickam Airforce Base (something Carylanne could not do a year ago due to ENTHESOPATHY). One thing that amazes me is that they are playing with fighter jets flying over head. Like it is just the most normal thing in the world. They don't even notice if it is tank on the road or an SUV. Blackhawks and OH-58 helicoptors are just background at daddy's work. They understand WAR and what soldiers do. They saw the events of 9/11 first hand. We were in DC at the time and watched the Pentagon go up in flames. But even with that knowledge comes and innocence about it.

I love watching them run and play. Such innocense. On the playgound it doesn't matter how much money you have, what rank your father or mother is. What race or cultural background you come from. To these children all that matters is who's IT in the best game of freeze tag. I watch these little girls and boys and wish it could be that way for all children. I am glad of their innocense. Of making fast friends at the playground. running and playing as if they have known each other for years. Just having fun without a care in the world. All too soon they will grow up and the world to them will be a different place. I wish I could keep them this carefree forever. I will try to as long as I can. Even in Carylanne's not so carefree life, her diabetes didn't matter today. Mom was on watch. She could just play and be one of the kids. She knows I have it covered. I will give her the appropriate snack before and after. I will remind her to check her Bg discreetly as she gets a drink. She can concentrate on getting to Goo and being IT. She can make friends. Run around crazy and enjoy the cool breezes. When she is tired she can sleep well because she knows somewhere in her sleep she will be checked and be safe from lows and highs. She trusts me to be there for her. She has her sister as well. They watch out for one another. I see them checking to see where the other one is. Christianne asking her sister if she is ok when she falls. It is heartwarming. Through the sibling rivalry and the bickering, they truly love one another.
Someday it will all change. They will be adults. Making their own decisions. spreading their wings. I pray they will always look out for each other just like on that playground today. Carylanne will have to make her own decisions on her care. How she is going to control her disease Will she "cheat", will she forget to check. She knows I will teach her everything she needs to know and be her safety net when she stumbles because that is what moms do. But I love watching them be children. Playing, laughing and enjoying the good times. Think I will go watch them build their castles and remember them as Princesses always. Give them big hugs, butterfly kisses and tell them how much I love them.

Some facts about Hawaii from a "island feverish" woman

2005-12-30T23:31:00.000-10:00

I thought in reflecting on some of my posts since I began my blog that some of you may wonder how in the world I could not like living in Hawaii. Or paradise as many call it. I thought that tonight I would let you all in on some facts of living in Hawaii you may not know. I too once dreamed of coming here. I would look at the ad for the Hale Koa resort. A military resort on Waikiki. I would just drool over sitting by that pool, sipping a Mai Tai ( I found out that Lava Flows are way better) Admittingly when the plane landed I was in paradise. Our first glimpse of the island was on Schofield Barracks which lies in the mountains in the central northern part of the island. It was beautiful. My first drive around the island, seeing the pacific ocean and its aqua green waters was breath-taking. Oh and the weather here is beautiful year-round. In fact this week alone is to be 84 by day and 65 by night. I have gotten to live out my day dream of that pool at Hale Koa. Military members can use the facilities even if we are not guests. The pool-side drink service tops out my fantasies of Waikiki and the beach and ocean are yards away from the pool. So why do I whine and dream of the mainland. Florida instead of Hawaii? Most people spend their life savings for a week here. Well here are some facts of Hawaiian living strictly from a military wife who loves road trips:

1. There are no road trips. The island is smaller than RI and its about 2 hours all the way around. 3 if you get stuck in traffic. I miss those days of hopping in the car and driving. Going new places, change of scenery and such. I miss overnight trips. Ok I could have gotten a room in Waikiki at any time BUT I could not see spending over $100 a night to stay 20 mins from home.
2. I live in military housing. NOT paradise. It is old, old housing. But we are lucky. I know families who have had the upstairs apartment fall into theirs. Or who have fallen themselves through to the frist floor. Or had rats in their yard because they live near the pineapple fields. I get to live in an extinct volcanic crater but I am in a single story and have surdy floors!
3. Everything is SO expensive. But I am sure you have all heard of that. We do have the commissary thankfully. Otherwise milk is $9 a gallon and cereal $7 a box. (I am not joking!)
4. They do not really meet you at the airlines with Lei's. It is only in the commercials. NO hula dancers either.
5. Beaches are nice BUT there are box-jelly fish warnings twice a month around the full moon. Plus dangerous surf in the winter. I am not a big salt-water swimmer anyway. We watch reports every night of poor tourists who ventured out into the water despite the warnings. Hey if I paid thousands to be here I might risk a jelly fish bite or a few big waves to get my monies worth. By the way the waves will be 25+ feet tomorrow. Great for watching.
6. Most of Oahu isn't even Hawaiians. Many different cultures. Which can be very nice but if you are expecting the images in the brochures it ain't happening. Maybe at the fakey luaus though.
7. Most of the locals do not care for the military so that in itself makes it hard here. I do like to go to Waikiki to be a tourist. Thats where you are treated very well. So if you come here just stay in the Waikiki/Honolulu area and it will be great.
8. It took us 2 years to learn how to pronounce the street names. try this one LIKELIKE Hwy. If you said (lik,lik with a long I sound you are wrong. It is leekay,leekay.) Or NUUANU. That one is (new-oo-on-oo). There are harder ones but you get the point.
9. I am not a fan of SPAM. Hawaiians love it. In fact spam,eggs and rice is a big hit for breakfast here. McDonalds even serves it.
10. FEET. I am not a big fan of seeing everyone's feet. Especially men's feet. There are a rare few people in the world that you would want to have to see their feet. I have seen enough ugly feet for a lifetime! Everyone wears flip-flops. Or as they are called here SLIPPAHS. They bike in them, run in them (which should really be an olympic event.) they come in high-heeled versions. I even had a hearing for SSI when we got here and the judge was wearing an aloha shirt and flip-flops with his black robe!!!
11. Crime, Crime, Crime!! They have a big crystal-meth problem here. Lots of cars stolen all the time. Left burned out on the side of the road. Many, many homeless live on the beaches and in the parks. Unfortunately many are on drugs. There are violent crimes every day in the news.
12. TRAFFIC. Every where you go all times of day. Lots of accidents and very bad drivers.

So island living hasn't quite suited us. I do resolve this year to whine less about where I am living. Ok especially since I am getting my wish of going to Florida. A dream that has taken us 6 years to achieve. But our adventure here in Hawaii hasn't been all bad. I would recommend a vacation here. Just come with lots of cash and stay in the tourist areas.

It's going to be a Happy New Year!

2005-12-29T07:58:00.000-10:00

Our journey is off to a GOOD start. (answered bedtime prayers!) First this week it came as a shock to find out that they are ready to cut our orders. In all these years I have NEVER seen the army work so fast. We should have them next week. We are estimated to leave Hawaii on February 1st. Hubby will still be in the army unil March 12 on terminal leave. Sounds like a bad disease but I assure you its a good thing. We still get a full paycheck for 40 days. Good thing we haven't gone too far or taken much leave these last 3 years. Not that we had far to go living on an island smaller than Rhode Island. (lived there for 29 years so I know).

Then my biggest relief came in an early morning phone call today. We got the apartment I applied for We are happily moving to Winter Haven Florida! I am so happy I could burst. It is a brand new place too. No more yucky, old, nasty military housing. **Believe me you have no idea the places they call adequate housing.** I even got to pick my carpet colors. Water view as well. In a couple months I can picture sitting on the balcony, over looking the lake, sipping bahama mamas. I am in a dreamlike bliss at the moment. The girls are jumping up and down.

Carylanne's numbers have been really good too. I guess the excitement is having a positive effect. This week was the HBA1C. Will know soon how that went. I am expecting in the 7.5 range. Her last was 6.7 which was a bit unexpected. We knew she had been doing well but didn't think it was that well. But we have had growth spurts the last 3 months so I am sure we are in the 7's. But I'll take that.

This is turning out to be a happy new year after all. After the year we have had boy what an ending. For the first year we are going to go into Honolulu for the fireworks and festivities. I want the girls to enjoy Hawaii in our last month. We actually got up for a sunrise last week. It's not as lazy as it sounds. It means driving across the island through the city traffic to reach the eastern shore. But it was worth it. I do have to learn how to post some pictures up here as I have some beautiful pictures of the sun coming up over the ocean. We could see Moloka'i off in the distance and there were whales playing off shore. That was so cool!!

Here's hoping that all of you have a safe and Happy New Year!! We will hit the ground running come Jan 2. Lots to do. But happily we will get it done and reach the promised land. (we promised the kids Disney).

Let the JOurney Begin!

2005-12-20T15:43:00.000-10:00

Well today we got our answer from the army. It was not exactly what I hoped for but it is over and we are going home in about 30 days. Not much time to plan a new life. We will be homeless and jobless so that is very scary. But it was inevitable as hubby could no longer be a soldier with his injuries. Unfortunately we have to wait for 6-8 months for veterans benefits. They take their time and never make anything easy.

So our journey across country should begin in late Jan. I am trying to plan and think of everything we need to do Diabetes related. As well as child related, disabled husband related and harried, stressed mom related! Well lots of bedtime prayers for this one.

So stay tuned I am sure that our journey will be an incredible one. I may not feel that way until we get to the other side and get settled. But my girls have learned one thing in this life. It is that we can get through anything. I am sure they will think moving is a snap when they are adults!

Sibling Rivalry and Diabetes

2005-12-16T08:47:00.000-10:00

Once again it's Friday. That blessed end of the week. For me the excitement this week is that Daddy will be home tomorrow and I won't be the only diciplinarian for a few days. I don't kow if its the excitement over Christmas or the stress of the upcoming move, but it seems both of my children lost their minds this last week. But I have another pressing issue that I am stumped on. I'm wondering if anyone can give me some advise about sibling rivalry with diabetes. Here's what I mean. I have it mastered that D child does not get away with things beause of her disease. Unless the behavior is proven to be related to a high or low. Then I corrrect the BG and the behavior usually corrects itself. If there is no hi or low punishment or a lecture still reigns supreme. But what I have a problem with is Non D child telling me "Carylanne gets more attention than me." I know that this is only something to say to try and push my buttons. We have talked about it before. Carylanne gets medical attention that is needed to keep her healthy etc etc. But she doesn't get more love, toys, or dessert. Then I always have the "everything needs to be equal or its not fair". I guess due to the closeness in age we have always tried to keep eveything equal but its really getting tiring. Especially when Carylanne goes low and her sister insists she needs food too. Usually she wants hers first! She is 8 she understands the whole thing perfectly well. Just lately she is trying to do everything to "use" her sister's diabetes as her excuse for behavior etc. Did anyone else have this as they were growing up or with their children now? How do siblings act in regards to the extra care that is needed. This is so hard because Christianne can be so helpful to her sister and caring when it comes to helping with lows etc. But lately the little green monster seems to have moved in and I don't mean its the Grinch. Then they just seem to be fighting more in general these days. I know that it is normal to compete with each other and have conflict. But I am trying to head it off before its gets out of hand. Plus we will all be in a van traveling in excess of 3,000 miles soon. I think I will have to invest in a good pair of ear plugs. This week we alked about friendship in school. They had read Charlotte's Web and we talked about unique friendships. Then the lesson I had was that Wilbur had to write out Charlotte's name and write one things he likes about her for each letter. I took this as an opportunity to talk about their friendship so I changed that to " write out your sister's name and write one good thing you like/love about her for each letter". Well being in a good loving mood each one was able to complete the task and write nice things about each other. So further more I told them to take their papers and put them in a safe accessable place. The next time they get in trouble for fighting or bickering excessively I explained that they would pull out their sheets and write down those nice things ten times to remind them of the things they like about each other. Hopefully it won't have to happen but I am trying to teach them better ways to resolve conflicts. Unfortunately the diabetes can sometimes get in the way. example: Carylanne gets argumentative when she is hi (meaning 200 or more). So sometimes its the sugars talking not her. Then I have to intervene instead of let them work it out. Then Christianne gets put off that Carylanne was arguing but didin't get in trouble like she would have. So I need to have some suggestions at this. I am trying to get her to understand its the disease not her sister so try not to blame Carylanne. But to an 8 yr old , its all the same. I am afraid that my family (extended) is a poor example. My sisters and brother no longer speak with my parents and I. Long horrible story but the long and short is that my family is divided now and it sets a horrible example for the children. I was not the reason for the split and stayed true to Honor thy mother and father. Which I felt did show the girls that standing up for what is right is nt always popular but is the right thing. However in cases of siblings it doesn't help build a good example for them. Hense why this issue is so important to me to work out and help them learn to work out themselves. Maybe we will just sit in the living room, hold hands and sing songs from the 70's until they give in . "All I we are saying is give peace a chance!"

WHAT!!!!

2005-12-09T22:08:00.000-10:00

Its been a long week. Thank God it's Friday. I have lots of thoughts in my head but am too tired to write them tonight. But I do have a burning question....

Does anyone know WHAT?? I am asked at least 10 times per day. Mom do you know what? Honey do you know what? I have tried to find WHAT. Tried to learn WHAT. I have looked for college courses to take in WHAT. WHAT on the internet. Books on WhAT. But I cannot find WHAT. I have told the girls to stop torturing me by reminding me everyday that I just don't know WHAT. So if anyone out there can clue me in and tell me what WHAT is maybe I can finally answer my girls so they will stop asking me Mom do you know WHAT?????????????

By the way the more you type WHAT, it is an extremely weird word!!!!!

Thanks for all your help! Maybe next week I can have a peaceful WHATLESS week.

A good numbers day

2005-12-08T23:27:00.000-10:00

Today was one of those rare days. Carylanne's numbers were good all day. I love those days. You know when you wake up and the BG is 100-130. Then all the other readings are great too. They are rare. Great rare. Like a husband remembering your anniversary, or getting roses on Valentine's Day.

Time is going so slow. We are waiting for the Army to decide on our medical disability pension and when our final date to leave will be. We have had enough Aloha to last a life time. Hawaiian Christmas songs don't cut it. Neither does Santa in Aloha attire and flip-flops. The girls don't remember what real trees look like.

Carylanne has been in much better spirits this week. Last Friday night I found Six until Me. I cried and cried when I read it. Then showed it to Carylanne. She has had the good fortune to talk to the author and has found a new friend. We are greatful. She handles all this in stride but about once every few months we have a breakdown of sorts. I know it is all going to take its toll on her eventually. She is 9. I can imagine it will get worse as she becomes a teen. Going home now is the best thing for all of us. That is why we are not unhappy with the Army's decision to discharge. He is hurt and cannot be fixed. Nothing can change that. So let us go home and start a new life. My girls need to connect with others in the civilian world. The do not know anything but the Army. Moving around the country. Always having to say good-bye just as you make a friend. It will be a wonderful thing to be part of a community that is home. But they will sure have some great stories and pictures to share of the life they have lived so far. They have stood at the base of an active volcano. Slept in a cabin on the mountain of Kilauea. Been to the top of Mauna Kea and to the best observatory in the world. Laid in the sun on Waikiki beach; and soon will get to drive across country. We have been given many opportunities.

But I go to bed and say my prayers. Prayers for a new life for us all. Prayers for my little girls. One so she can be healthy and happy. That she will be cured someday soon. Prayers my other daughter will be spared and that she will know that she is loved as much as her sister even though she sometimes thinks her sister gets more attention. And prayers for peace. We have lived this war in a personal way and we pray for all our soldiers and their families.

Our Story

2005-12-06T20:47:00.000-10:00

Well here is our story. A good way to start I suppose. My 9 yr old daughter Carylanne has Type 1 diabetes. That is why I am here. She also has Hypothyroidism (diagnosed along with the diabetes), Enthesopathy(great topic for another post) and acid reflux. I think that's it.

I have an 8 yr old who thank God is healthy. She got the bad eyesight. I am an armywife of 13 years. But we are soon to leave the Army (about 60 days left) to embark on a new and exciting journey into civilian life. Oh we were there before but this will be new and exciting. My husband is now a disabled vet so we have more challenges than before. God must think I crave stress and challenges because I have them both up the wazoo!!!

I will not bore you with the whole story of our diagnosis etc. It was all pretty much the same as you have all endured. It has been 3 1/2 years now. Most days have gotten easier than back then but not always. We have our scary moments and monthly meltdowns but we are finding our way through it all. Carylanne has her pump and loves it. She has the support of her sister who is her best friend. Her dad and I take care of her and are teaching her to take care of herself. So she will never feel like she cannot do it or make the right decisions. Plus she knows her mom will always be her safety net if she does.

We are looking forward to moving back to the mainland. Starting a new life and connecting with other families like ours. Carylanne wants friends who understand being Hi has nothing to do with drugs and that Shaky is not a fun thing. We have felt removed from the world these last couple years. I belive there are support groups here but this island is complicated. It is hard to fit in if you are military. So we have learned everything we could and gone through most of it on our own.

We are in Hawaii at the present. Not our paradise. Oh it was nice at first. But it wears off with the price of everything. We are Disney fanatics and haven't been off this rock in nearly 3 years. (Ecept to another rock being the BIg Island of Hawaii to Volcano National Park. A great place that I may talk about at some point. BUt in Haswaii there are no Applebees or Sonics, no purple ice cream, and no bunny bread. It was not our choice to be here. The Army made that choice; and now they are sending us off. With a broken husband and a "Have a nice life" but they do not know that I am Supermom. I will get through this and we will survive. I hope that maybe though this blog I can connect to other parents, learn a little, help a little and share our new journey. We will be traveling across country to Florida. I have not traveled this long with her before. Not with the pump either. I am trying to work out the details and get all our supplies. The doctor is great helping me think of everything but I know I will need some help to get through this. I hope some of you out there will post and give me some of that help along the way. maybe you will find some of our trip amusing. I always have something amusing happen each day. Isn't that the way with kids!!!??? Plus I homeschool so we are always together. Well if you are still reading this I have not bored you with our opening story. Thanks for reading and hope you come back to share in our story some more.