Butterfly Kisses & Bedtime Prayers

"Butterfly Kisses after bedtime prayer. Stickn' little white flowers all up in her hair. Oh with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right. To deserve a hug every morning and butterfly kisses at night". *** For parents of children with diabetes and adults who are living with Type 1 diabetes. We are looking to share stories, ideas, concerns, and laughter.***

Thursday, April 20, 2006

This awful beautiful life!!

So much going on these days my head is about to overload. Some is just so fu^^&% bad but some is a bit of humor in this otherwise sucky life we are experiencing. First, The sucky part to get it out of my system. I spoke with a representative at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission today. My complaint has fallen on deaf ears. I spoke to the federal line last week and was told that I do fall under the same guidelines for discriminatin if it is a family member or if I was the one disabled. Well this woman tells me NO and that Wal-Mart didn't have to make any specials accomodations for me, I told her I spoke to someone at the federal office. Ma'me we are the federal office. No I'm prety sure your in Tampa lady. Maybe in her mind she is in DC. Then she tells me I made it look bad on myself for walking out. I beg to differ. I will not work for a company with so little compassion for their employees that carrying my own @@#$ cell phone for an emergency is such a problem. End of story. My family and their well-being comes first. So then I have to go in for my paycheck. I go to the back and get my smock out of my locker to turn in along with a letter telling personnel how i was treated. Hey it may alert someone to the rude behavior of the manager. Although I doubt they will care. So I get to the office and poke my head into the window for my check. Sitting there is the horrible $%$%$^ cashier supervisor. She gives me a look of "if you show up for work tonight your either getting written up or fired". So I ask for my check, chicken out of handing over the smock or the letter and high-tail it out of there. I put the smock back into my locker. Think I will mail the letter and the words I quit! This woman got me so furious that I don't want to deal with her again. But I still had the presence of mind to go around the store and get everything we have been needign like comfortors for the girls, material to make all our curtains etc. I go to the checkout cash my check and ask for my employee discount. Hey I got another 15.00 out of them before leaving!!!!

So that is the end of my first job in many years. What a disaster! I will look again when my nerves are more prepared. I found out today that the law does not protect our children. How can we as their caregivers be unreachable in an emergency, or have their sicknesses held against us. We have children who require special care but we also have to work. Now I am just so nervous about going out there to work. The unbeleiveable attitude towards people with diabetes is horrible. I always feel like I am being judged that we somehow caused this. With all the hype about children getting type 2 from poor diets and exercise, ignorant people think this is the same. So there is no compassion at all.

Then speaking of no compassion Dave went to the VA today. You have to know that they pushed him out still broken. His hand surgery failed which they knew amidst the process and they told him that he would have to get it fixed by the VA because they would not stop the MEB. So he has a broken hand that needs surgery. Then his back is so bad he is on morphine for the back pain and the hand pain. He gets referred to the hand specialist over 3 weeks ago. They have the referral but haven't even looked at it yet to call him for an appointment. Then he asks about what more they can do for his back. NOTHING. They never sent him to a neurologist or exhausted all treatments but as far as they are concerned they won't do anymore. Unfuckingbelieveable. I am so stressed out I can't describle it in words. I just want to run away somewhere. But we can't afford to. I am thankful that I have lots of supplies for Carylanne on hand and that we have medical until Sept. I just want to be able to settle into civilian life and find jobs we can manage and take care of our girls. This just totally sucks!!! NOw onto a lighter better note......

We got carylanne's latest HBA1c last week. Mind you this is from Dec to March and includes all of our trip and leaving our home etc.
7.2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could have screamed it from the highest mountain! We thought for sure it would suck because of all the stress and change for us all. But it was great. I have found a good way to keep her numbers down these days. walking around Disney. She gets alot of exercise and it is keeping her numbers in great range.

Next I have a bit of humor I just have to relate after all my ranting and raving.... I warn you to not read this with anything in your mouth as you may choke or have milk/wine/soda shoot out your nose!!! Ok here it goes...

Last night well after the girls are in bed, Dave and I were in bed. Not exactly sleeping. So right in the middle or rather nearing the end we suddenly hear

"I can't sleep"

Not from the door oh my $%^$$% word Carylanne is standing right next to us. Dad's butt in the air moaning groaning etc etc (not to be too explicit but you have to really picture the scene to understand my sheer mortification right now). She practically tapped him on the shoulder. He jumps off into the bed and we grab for the sheets.

"Go into your room I will be right there"

She sleepily hobbles back to her room. Now I don't even want to face her. What is she going to ask/say. The girls know about sex. In fact due to their precociousness they know a lot. First they asked too much last year when we learned anatomy. Then my neighbor thought having 5 kids in 4 years would be great. That brought up too many questions from the girls.
"MOmmy if Mr Ben can't afford to have more kids why do they have sex to make one?"
(ok I had todl them that people have sex when they are married to have a child. They thought after that there is no more reason to have sex. NOw I am backed into a corner. truth or make up a stork story quick. I go for truth.

"Married couples have sex because it is a special gift from God. Sometimes that gift does produce a baby and that is one of the resons why God made this a special time etc) "

So she comes out with

"well you and dad aren't having any more kids"

"Well yes honey but..." Then the light pops on

"oh gross you and daddy still have sex!!!"

"It's not gross and most married couples have sex at least some of the time. But its a private matter that we don't discuss or ask about."
Another light pops on

"Grandma and Grandpa too!!"

Mortifiction speads over her and her sister's faces. That night when dave comes home from work Christianne, my forever ballbuster goes up to him and says,

"I know your little secret" then she runs down the hall giggling. Dave wanted to eat by himself because he felt he was being stared at all night.

So now we are faced with totally being caught. I am dying at haviong to answer questions etc. First i ask Dave the obvious question 'Why didn't you lock the door????" I go into her room. Tell her it is rude to barge into our room. I tell her to hug Ruby and go to sleep. She is out in 3 minutes. Was she sleep walking??? Will she remember what she saw??? Jump to this morning. No mention of anything. No remarks from little sister which would tell me she does remember and just told Christi. Christianne would not have resisted saying something. Tonight she can't sleep again. Only this time i am typing. This time I tell her not again like barging in last night.
"mom I'm sorry I must have been confused. All I remember is standing next to you adn having you tell me to go back to bed"

Oh my God she is so traumatized she's going to end up on Dr. Phil someday!!!!! I am buying a lock for the door this weekend and a cow bell for theirs!!!
What a week. I need a good drink. Only don't tell my girls I could go for a "sex on the beach"!!!!


  • At 2:24 AM HST, Blogger Shannon said…

    This was quite an interesting post, I must say ;)

    Firstly, I like the way you milked money from Walmart...that would be my style of sticking it to the man, LOL.

    I guess with the next job, get EVERYTHING in writing including cell phone usage for diabetes issues.

    Sorry you didn't have much luck with the EEOC. I guess a law should be implemented for parents of children with a chronic health condition receiving the same treatment as those with the actual condition....

    We have a lock on our door for those "intimate" situations. I was laughing at the thought of Dave (fully clothed for my own benefit, LOL) getting the beejeezus scared out of him at that crucial moment.


  • At 4:57 AM HST, Blogger julia said…

    I'd send the letter anyway.

    *note to self* Go buy lock for door, before Isobel can get out of her crib.

  • At 4:41 AM HST, Blogger Askinstoo said…

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  • At 6:08 AM HST, Blogger Askinstoo said…

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  • At 9:11 AM HST, Blogger Ellen said…

    Thanks for a great blog!

    I'm NEVER spending one penny again at Wal-Mart. Your experience is the last straw for me. ((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))

    You're such a good person with so much on your plate. Have you considered having an article written about your family in a large newspaper or having a tv news type show feature what's going on with how America is "taking care" of their Veterans with this war in addition to the huge Wal-Mart corporation trying to stamp out any possible involvement with your own family during work hours?


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