Sibling Rivalry and Diabetes
Once again it's Friday. That blessed end of the week. For me the excitement this week is that Daddy will be home tomorrow and I won't be the only diciplinarian for a few days. I don't kow if its the excitement over Christmas or the stress of the upcoming move, but it seems both of my children lost their minds this last week. But I have another pressing issue that I am stumped on. I'm wondering if anyone can give me some advise about sibling rivalry with diabetes. Here's what I mean. I have it mastered that D child does not get away with things beause of her disease. Unless the behavior is proven to be related to a high or low. Then I corrrect the BG and the behavior usually corrects itself. If there is no hi or low punishment or a lecture still reigns supreme. But what I have a problem with is Non D child telling me "Carylanne gets more attention than me." I know that this is only something to say to try and push my buttons. We have talked about it before. Carylanne gets medical attention that is needed to keep her healthy etc etc. But she doesn't get more love, toys, or dessert. Then I always have the "everything needs to be equal or its not fair". I guess due to the closeness in age we have always tried to keep eveything equal but its really getting tiring. Especially when Carylanne goes low and her sister insists she needs food too. Usually she wants hers first! She is 8 she understands the whole thing perfectly well. Just lately she is trying to do everything to "use" her sister's diabetes as her excuse for behavior etc. Did anyone else have this as they were growing up or with their children now? How do siblings act in regards to the extra care that is needed. This is so hard because Christianne can be so helpful to her sister and caring when it comes to helping with lows etc. But lately the little green monster seems to have moved in and I don't mean its the Grinch. Then they just seem to be fighting more in general these days. I know that it is normal to compete with each other and have conflict. But I am trying to head it off before its gets out of hand. Plus we will all be in a van traveling in excess of 3,000 miles soon. I think I will have to invest in a good pair of ear plugs. This week we alked about friendship in school. They had read Charlotte's Web and we talked about unique friendships. Then the lesson I had was that Wilbur had to write out Charlotte's name and write one things he likes about her for each letter. I took this as an opportunity to talk about their friendship so I changed that to " write out your sister's name and write one good thing you like/love about her for each letter". Well being in a good loving mood each one was able to complete the task and write nice things about each other. So further more I told them to take their papers and put them in a safe accessable place. The next time they get in trouble for fighting or bickering excessively I explained that they would pull out their sheets and write down those nice things ten times to remind them of the things they like about each other. Hopefully it won't have to happen but I am trying to teach them better ways to resolve conflicts. Unfortunately the diabetes can sometimes get in the way. example: Carylanne gets argumentative when she is hi (meaning 200 or more). So sometimes its the sugars talking not her. Then I have to intervene instead of let them work it out. Then Christianne gets put off that Carylanne was arguing but didin't get in trouble like she would have. So I need to have some suggestions at this. I am trying to get her to understand its the disease not her sister so try not to blame Carylanne. But to an 8 yr old , its all the same. I am afraid that my family (extended) is a poor example. My sisters and brother no longer speak with my parents and I. Long horrible story but the long and short is that my family is divided now and it sets a horrible example for the children. I was not the reason for the split and stayed true to Honor thy mother and father. Which I felt did show the girls that standing up for what is right is nt always popular but is the right thing. However in cases of siblings it doesn't help build a good example for them. Hense why this issue is so important to me to work out and help them learn to work out themselves. Maybe we will just sit in the living room, hold hands and sing songs from the 70's until they give in . "All I we are saying is give peace a chance!"